Browse Tag by rajnikanth
mumbai

Need your help – The Sapling Project

Dear Friend,

Money doesn’t grow on trees, but with a little money We can grow a lot of Trees,.

We have only reached 25% of our  fund raising target, We would appreciate if you could donate any amount to help our cause and & Support us for our next Sapling project drive.

http://www.wishberry.in/The-Sapling-Project-15539

We request everyone to please share the donation link on your timeline, Twitter and friends.

Thanks once again for your support.

regards, satish

mumbai

Superstar Rajinikanth – Madness compiled

Sharing the  SMS, Tweets, FB status doing the rounds.

RAJNIKANT MISSING!!

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Rajnikant participatd in asian games in high jump n nw reportd by nasa dat rajni is d 1st man on mars…;)

All The fast bikes from yamaha company

R1, R15, R6, Rx 100 ,Rx 125, Rx 135, Rd, Rxz…
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R stands for RAJNIKANTH…

Height of all.

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Ganpatichya ghari 10 divsancha ‘Rajnikant’ basavtat…

Once RAJNIKANT forgot his toys near Mumbai .

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…Now that place is known as essel world

One day a “flat chested” girl went to Rajnikant & sought help for her problem.

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Rajnikant kissed her boobs and today she’s known as Pamela Anderson!

1ce Rajniknt went to US & met Pamela Andrsn

he got excited & wanted 2 wank
So he went behind a bldg n did it 4 few mins.
2day,d bldg is called WHITEHOUSE !

Rajinikanth met a goat on da way,it was doing bey bey bey,he hit the goat in an ger, & now dat goat is known as Justin Bieber
All scientists failed to ANS this but Rajnikanth did.

Q: Which liquid turns solid on heating?
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Ans: IIDLI DOSA MEDU VADA…Mind it!!!!

Galileo used lamp 2 study, graham bell used candle 2 study, Shakespeare studiedin street light bt do u know abt Rajini ? . . . . . . . . . only agarbatti
Once Rajnikanth put some stones in a Tin Dabba and shook it, Malayalam Languagewas born.
Rajnikant Returns … Once #Rajnikant bought one acre land with 4 wells on eachcorner… Why..?? To paly Carrom… #fb
Rajnikanth was once denied visa to australia.Then he placed his hand on a child.The child is now known as VVS LAXMAN”
One sunday mornin Rajinikanth in a good mood to surprise his wife had put d RANGOLI infront of his houseAnd nw ppl are studying it asnetwork analysis..!
Khaufnak andheri raat mein 12 baje 1 bhoot dusre bhoot ko samjha raha tha,

“ghabra mat. Ye sab tere dimag ka vahem hai,
koi Rajnikant- vajnikant nai hota..”

If Rajanikant would have born 200 years ago

……British would have fought for Independence.

Wanted revised…

Salman – Ek bar jo mene commitment kar di uske bad me sirf rajnikant ki hi sunta hu… 🙂

All sardars hv decided to offer 500 crores to rajnikant as a thank you token for shifting peoples focus from

sardars
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Rajnikant.

Yet another Rajnikant best –

” Rajnikant never pays attention………………,..
Attention pays him”

Once Rajnikant taught a kid how to enter a house without ringing the door bell….

That person is now called sub inspector DAYA!

BREAKING NEWS: Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg hospitalised with serious injury. Rajnikant poked him on Facebook!
Ultimate one: The new symbol for the rupee is actually Rajnikanth’s signature.
Rajinikanth can put toothpaste back in the Tube
Would be adding more as I get them, Do feel free to add to the list.

mumbai

Things to learn from Enthiran/ Robot

Superstar Rajnikanth

1. In 2010, many “DIY” Robot kits are easily available, so you can order them online, get it delivered, unpack and assemble them to make your own robot.

2. Plug-and-copy programming cassettes for Martial Arts, Music, Dance, Language and GK come as freebies. They easily make your Robo smarter, so you don’t have to break your head in writing codes.

3. A fresher graduate and a HSC pass are the ideal assistants for a scientist building the World’s “most advanced” robo.

4. Technology in 2010 has suddenly become advanced that you can virtually see-through the foetus with a multi-purpose ‘eye-sized’ device, far better than the latest 6-tonne CT/MRI scanners.

5. The robo designed for battle fields is also programmed to sing classical songs and perform break dances, so that it can entertain the soldiers relaxing in the borders.

6. The robo when produced in large scale for Indian defence, will come up with a Caution note : “Ensure you drive the generator trucks to the battle front, for charging the robots in “sleeping” mode.

7. The authorities at the institute want Chitti to have lot of feelings and emotions, so that if required, it can play gay for his fellow soldiers.

8. An humanoid robo will always introduce itself with its speed and memory specifications, just like human beings announce their height and weight.

9. A complex humanoid robo cannot follow a simple instruction to walk forward just because it is built by the bad man.

10. The same robo, purportedly built to kill people, can be easily knocked off the ground with bare-hands, just in case it accidentally tries to “kill” you.

11. A robot during test run has to be handled carefully, or it may misinterpret commands like “shoot” lie on ground and start mating actions.

12. Rajini has plenty of time for extra-curricular activities, like making a Merc Roadster run automatically through infrared signals.

13. A mother of a scientist is always dumb so as to think that a humanoid robot gets energy from masala dosas and sh*ts every morning.

14. When Chitti is in a romantic mood, its metal limbs become soft and cushioned so that when he plays with Aish hurled up in air, she does not get hurt.

15. When a scientist is clean shaven, it certainly means that he is not currently busy with his research or his creation is completed.

16. Only a super-robo can help a student cheat her exams not you or me, even if we have bluetooth or wifi gadgets.

17. Goons and Rowdies in India have amazing stamina. They can handle over two dozen blows each, even if they are smacked off by metal ‘arms’.

18. When you increase the volume of an expensive HiFi to its rated maximum, not only the glasses shatter due to shockwaves, the system themselves may blow up.

19. When people climb on the back of Chitti, they too acquire its fire-resistance capabilities and they come out of fire-engulfed building totally unharmed.

20. Slum dwellers nowadays watch too many commercials of Sanitarywares that they have started bathing in their own makeshift bath tubs.

21. A woman so concerned about her modesty, can sometimes forget about it. For instance, she thinks its ‘cool’ to stay naked in the bath tub, even when the house is on fire.

22. The Chennai police are so excited with their newly acquired sub-machine guns that they try them generously on the robo, not bothered about Aishwarya, whom they are supposed to save, sitting just besides.

23. When the self-thinking robo plans to replicate itself, it follows the same procedure of ordering DIY kits through Amazon, this time in bulk quantities. 24. The assembling of these complex robos are usually done on chairs like the ones you are sitting on right now.

25. The magazine casing for the newly developed finger tip gun can be made of plastics, similar to Mach 3 turbo razor pack.

26. A robo designed to replace 100 soldiers on international borders, can be easily turned off by hitting the red color emergency button on its chest.

27. Power from a car battery is sufficient for an android robo to perform its “heavy” duties, equivalent to what gasoline or electricity can give.

28. The robos can combine to form a 10 storey tall gigantic, powerful serpent, but it simply fires the enemies with a single gun (read ‘tongue’).

29. Their leather jackets are so durable that when the robos make a formation and drill through the surface, they are still as good as new.

30. When ALL robos are called to line up for the black sheep identification parade, Dr. Rajini also has to join them as there is no place to hide.

31. The research scientists in Robot institute often develop ideas when they are on tour, so they made a hitech bus with all consoles and park it outside ready for the next trip.

32. Nowadays judgment in courts are rapidly settled, sometimes ‘instantly’. For eg, it takes less than 2 min for the judges to reverse the death sentence they just gave to Rajini.

Courtesy – SantyXtra/IMDB

mumbai

Rajni Can – Top 100

Good compilation by @mid_day Rajni can -Top 100 http://bit.ly/aeUE4o

1. Rajnikanth killed the Dead Sea.
2. When Rajnikanth does push-ups, he isn’t lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.
3. There is no such thing as evolution, it’s just a list of creatures that Rajnikanth allowed to live.
4. Rajnikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile.
5. Rajnikanth can divide by zero.
6. Rajnikanth can judge a book by its cover.
7. Rajnikanth can drown a fish.
8. Rajnikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.
9. Rajnikanth once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs.
10. Rajnikanth can slam a revolving door.
11. Rajnikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.
12. Rajnikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald’s, and got it.
13. Rajnikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards.
14. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikanth kicked one of the corners off.
15. Rajnikanth can build a snowman out of rain.
16. Rajnikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
17. Rajnikanth can make onions cry.
18. Rajnikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognises the element of surprise.
19. Rajnikanth has counted to infinity, twice.
20. Rajinikanth can watch the show 60 minutes in 20 minutes.
21. Rajnikanth will attain separate statehood in 2013.
22. Rajnikanth did, in fact, build Rome in a day.
23. Rajnikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost.
24. Rajnikanth can play the violin with a piano.
25. Rajnikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.
26. The only man who ever outsmarted Rajnikanth was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved.
27. Rajnikanth can talk about Fight Club.
28.  Rajnikanth doesn’t breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.
29. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajnikanth lives in Chennai.
30. Rajnikanth kills Harry Potter in the eighth book.
31. Rajnikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.
32. Rajnikanth has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life there.
33. Rajnikanth doesn’t move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajnikanth.
34. Rajnikanth knows Victoria’s secret.
35. Water boils faster when Rajnikanth stares at it.
36. Rajinikanth is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
37. Rajnikanth kills two stones with one bird.
38. google won’t find rajnikanth because you don’t find him, rajni finds you
39. Rajnikanth gave the Joker his scars.
40. Rajnikanth leaves messages before the beep.
41. Rajnikanth once warned a young girl to be good “or else”. The result? Mother Teresa.
42. Rajnikanth electrocuted Iron Man.
43. Rajnikanth killed SpiderMan using Baygon anti-bug spray.
44. Rajnikanth can make PCs better than the Mac.
45. Rajnikanth puts the laughter in ‘manslaughter’.
46. Rajnikanth goes to court and sentences the judge.
47. Rajnikanth can handle the truth.
48. Rajnikanth can speak Braille.
49. Rajnikanth can dodge Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kicks.
50. Rajnikanth calls Voldemort by his name.
51. Who do you think taught Voldemort Parseltongue? Rajnikanth did.
52. Rajnikanth can teach an old dog new tricks
53. Chuck Norris once met Rajnikanth. The result ” he was reduced to a joke on the Internet.
54. Rajnikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result, small pox is now eradicated.
55. Rajnikanth’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajnikanth.
56. Rajnikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
57. The last time Rajnikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance.
58. Rajnikanth once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
59. Rajnikanth is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
60. Rajnikanth can run at speed of light around a tree and screw himself.
61. Rajnikanth can lick his elbows.
62. Rajnikanth once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
63. Rajnikanth does not get frostbite. Rajnikanth bites frost.
64. Rajnikanth doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
65. Rajnikanth got his driver’s licence at the age of 16 seconds.
66. When you say “no one is perfect”, Rajnikanth takes this as a personal insult.
67. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajnikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
68. Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajnikanth was born.
69. The statement “nobody can cheat death”, is a personal insult to Rajnikanth. Rajni cheats and fools death everyday.
70. When Rajnikanth is asked to kill some one he doesn’t know, he shoots the bullet and directs it the day he finds out.
71. Rajnikanth can give pain to painkillers and headache to Anacin.
72. Rajnikanth knows what women really want.
73. Time and tide wait for Rajnikanth.
74. Rajnikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that’s when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean.
75. As a child when Rajnikanth had dyslexia, he simply re-scripted the alphabet.
76. Rajnikanth collects Honey from his private Moon ” HoneyMoon.
77. Rajnikanth can answer a missed call.
78. Rajnikanth doesn’t need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates.
79. Rajnikanth’s brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhury’s.
80. Rajnikanth doesn’t shower. He only takes blood baths.
81. To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Rajnikanth.
82. The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Rajnikanth’s fist.
83. Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajnikanth, there is no other way.
84. Rajnikanth’s every step creates a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of a morning jog.
85. Rajnikanth doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint out of fear.
86. Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajnikanth”.
87. There is no such thing as global warming. Rajnikanth was feeling cold, so brought the sun closer to heat the earth up.
88. Once a cobra bit Rajnikanth’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
89. Rajnikanth is a champion in the game ‘hide n’ seek’, as no one can hide from Rajnikanth.
90. Rajnikanth proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction.
91. Rajnikanth is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the world.
92. Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Rajnikanth is on.
93. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Rajnikanth.
94. If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Rajnikanth.
95. Rajnikanth’s first job was as a bus conductor. There were no survivors.
96. Rajnikanth does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
97. When Rajnikanth plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
98. Rajnikanth’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
99. Gmail’s new ID: gmail@rajnikanth.com
100. ‘Robot is released. Rajnikanth gives Times of India 3 stars.’