awesome stuff, put on ur spkrs .. pass it on to your bong freinds too
truly classic indian flash comedy…
Here is a short story on motivation
There are two donkeys A & B – best of buddies.
At the village fair A is sold to a rich Arab while B is sold to a rich
businessman. The Arab treats A like his child takes good care of him
etc. While the businessman ill treats B, does not feed him well and
him work hard.
After few years A & B meet and have a chat. A is very sad about B and
that “My Arab can buy you from your businessman and yo u can have a good
life too” B says, “No, I have hope here”
A: “What Hope?”
B: The businessman has a beautiful daughter, and when she misbehaves the
businessman tells her – “If you continue misbehaving I will marry you
to this donkey
this is a huge place wid spaced out people wid documents n fotus in triplicate running from counter to counter and more counters…..
since my previous experiences have never been smooth I decided to talk to an agent first.. I go to the least shady looking of them … I told bhai ECNR karneka hai .. he says form leke aao 1 number counter pe… the evil security guard who job is to juss stop all the people from entering so that the agents get their work done..
I tell him passport hai stamp maarkne ka hai…
I reach counter number 1… I give da lady 20 buck note for a 5 buck form (I’m worried that she wont return da change), after waiting for a while I find some chiller in my bag… I come outside again and give da forms n tell da agent to fill it up… thumb impressions n multiple signatures.. here n there…
then again counter number 7….
da guy on counter number 7 is missing in action… its nearly 12.10 .. this spaced out guy finally emerges from da loo… has a look on my cerits ask totally tangent questions…then take my papers to some superiors and comes back… has a long stare at da passport and and me .. and blurts toda alag hai fotu.. ye right fucker.. this has a frechie .. after ruthlessly stamping 3-4 times.. he says abi counter number 8 mein jao madam ke paas
Im at counter number 8, this totally pained madam doing some major kaam (12.20 pm)
im waiting .. im second in line.. some sidey agent gets in between… 12.21
then some sidey staff comes wid some wedding invitation card.. I think its one of his children.. he wrote da card to all in da office not individually so our madam was cribbing about it.. this rendezvous goes on and on and finally its all smiles at 12.26
then the printer goes kaput… out techie madam tries to be Mr fix it… its a shady legacy dot matrix printer… she maraos some 8-10 prints before getting it right… 12.28 pm… me in on GAS by then… else I would have to come again the next day….
then vola da printer starts working… Mr pandey da agent get his work done…
now im on line… she cant find my documents… I help her out… pay her da money…
she says… sade cahr baje aao… and da madam says sorry for da delay .. ..wow when did one hear Govt servants say dat!!
wow.. mission 1 done (12.30 pm)
now for four hours im in Thane , time which never seems to passs….. after having 2 lunch rounds of nasta pani and checking mail at a cafe… I go back to da passport office….. finally got it done at 4.15 pm ..
We Indians tend to blame these guys for all da shit they put us through, we are partially right but I also feel that these guys are a frustrated lot… frustrated coz of the people the have to hang out n interact everyday…. illiterate junta from all over, lousy travel agents n their side kicks, hajis n their gangs of ten .. one to fill form 10 for moral support, rude aunty fed up of being shoved from counter to counter…
If you ask me would I like to go there again no way …… I guess god made these guys or punished them rather to do this job :):)
AB new bhai roles… da man rocks da shit out of the SRKs,Sallus n Pillus of the industry.
Rajkumar SantoshiÂs Family
He is: The head of a large business house that has involvements in various nefarious activities.
His group is presently warring against another family-run firm (apparently led by Akshay KumarÂs character)
The look: Smokes a long cigar, sports Men In Black dark shades, suits of light shades and facial hair thatÂs a cross between stubble and a beard.
Will enter cinemas: August 2005
Ram Gopal VarmaÂs Sarkar
He is: A powerful political law-into-himself, a non-constitutional patriarch whose writ runs virtually in the entire city of Mumbai.
A character rumoured to be based on Shiv Sena supremo Bal Thackeray
The look: Red ÂtikkaÂ on the forehead, gold-rimmed spectacles, black kurta, well-trimmed goatee and relatively unkempt salt-n-pepper hair
Life isn’t worth living unless you’re willing to take some big chances and go for broke.– Eliot Wiggington
1. In the beginning GOD created the Bit and the Byte. And from those he
created the Word.
2. And there were two Bytes in the Word; and nothing else existed. And
God separated the One from the Zero; and he saw it was good.
3. And God said – Let the Data be; And so it happened. And God said –
Let the Data go to their proper places. And he created floppy disks and
hard disks and compact disks.
4. And God said – Let the computers be, so there would be a place to
floppy disks and hard disks and compact disks. Thus God created
computers and called them hardware.
5. And there was no Software yet. But God created programs; small and
big… And told them – Go and multiply yourselves and fill all the
6. And God said -I will create the Programmer; And the Programmer will
make new programs and govern over the computers and programs and Data.
7. And God created the Programmer; and put him at Data Center; And God
showed the Programmer the Catalog Tree and said You can use all the
volumes and subvolumes but DO NOT USE Windows.
8. And God said – It is not Good for the programmer to be alone. He
a bone from the Programmer’s body and created a creature that would
up at the Programmer; and admire the Programmer; and love the things
Programmer does; And God called the creature: the User.
9. And the Programmer and the User were left under the naked DOS and it
10. But Bill was smarter than all the other creatures of God. And Bill
said to the User – Did God really tell you not to run any programs?
11. And the User answered – God told us that we can use every program
and every piece of Data but told us not to run Windows or we will die.
12. And Bill said to the User – How can you talk about something you
not even try. The moment you run Windows you will become equal to God.
You will be able to create anything you like by a simple click of your
13. And the User saw that the fruits of the Windows were nicer and
easier to use. And the User saw that any knowledge was useless ï¿½C since
Windows could replace it.
14. So the User installed the Windows on his computer; and said to the
Programmer that it was good.
15. And the Programmer immediately started to look for new drivers. And
God asked him – What are you looking for? And the Programmer answered –
I am looking for new drivers because I can not find them in the DOS.
God said – Who told you need drivers? Did you run Windows? And the
Programmer said – It was Bill who told us to!
16. And God said to Bill – Because of what you did you will be hated by
all the creatures. And the User will always be unhappy with you. And
will always sell Windows.
17. And God said to the User – Because of what you did, the Windows
disappoint you and eat up all your Resources; and you will have to use
lousy programs; and you will always rely on the Programmers help.
18. And God said to the Programmer – Because you listened to the User
you will never be happy. All your programs will have errors and you
have to fix them and fix them to the end of time.
19. And God threw them out of the Data Center and locked the door and
secured it with a password.
20. GENERAL PROTECTION FAULT